Have you ever felt that your life doesn’t have more colors, that you can’t go on one more day? You are not alone, many people have felt that way, either for a short period of time, or long periods of time and some people didn’t make it…
Those feelings of despair can creep up on us and it makes it so hard to keep on going. We might feel that way, because you have had a rough time at school/work, someone has bullied you, you had a horrible break up, you lost everything and the list can go on. I want to tell you that there is hope…
I want to bring awareness: as Myself, I got to that point once in my life, after being heart broken I decided to take a whole bottle of mixed pills before going to sleep, I felt that I couldn’t go on anymore. A friend felt the need to visit me, I told him what I have just done, he ran to my parents and immediately my mom gave me milk, I threw up and almost unconscious they took me to the hospital… The doctor said thanks to your friend and your mom’s fast reaction, you are alive. I didn’t want to be alive it was hurting too much. But you know why was hurting? I kept all to myself, nobody knew what was going on inside me, I created this victim-hood mode and thought everyone was out to get me and the only way out was to take my life. So as a suicide survivor I would like to give you few tips that might help you the same way it helped me.
1. Speak up
No matter what the situation is, you need to talk… Seek out a therapist, counselor, friend, even a stranger, just let it all out, your anxieties, your pain, your worries, sometimes we bottle up the emotions, put on a smile for the world and we don’t see a way out; but someone else can help you see a solution from a different point of view if you talk. If you are being mistreated, bullied you can report that without being scared, nobody has power over us if we don’t let that person take power, remember whatever the person does is a reflection of them and what they have inside has nothing to do with you. Everything has a solution except death.
2. Take one day at a time
Don’t think in the future, create anxiety, don’t think in the past, create depression, live in the moment, in the now. Even if today you just got out of bed, that’s ok, remember you are important, work on one thing for you. Also remember you are important in someone’s life. You are a warrior, you are enough, you survived many times and you still continue, just pick that one thing that will make your day better, even if is making the bed a different way, take a different route, or even try writing with your left hand.
3. Nobody is more important than you or to lose your life for
There is a quote that says “nobody deserves your tears, but whoever deserves them will not make you cry” What other people think of you is none of your business, regain the love in yourself, that, when others make noise in your life you don’t care about that noise. Don’t let others rent free space in your mind nor rob your happiness, if you are in an abusive or in a dangerous situation please contact 911 or the local police… Do not accept threats.
4. Think of something you wanted to be when you were a child
We all had dreams when we were little kids, even if it is “absurd”, start creating that dream, start remembering what that was. Kids had no fears and they could do anything they put their mind to.
Yes, Breath but not the regular breathing, mindful breathing from your belly upwards, studies have shown that mindful breathing can help reduce anxiety, help our immune system, improve our health, help our brain and relax us.
6. Put your pain into a hobby
Yes, use the pain you are having into a creative show. Paint, write, build, dance, do crosswords, color.
7. Find one reason you want to be here
Even if it takes a lot of effort, even if it takes days just think where you would really find joy. The more we focus on a negative thought the more we will dive into that ocean of negativity, but if we think of something that we find joy in, perhaps think of a place do you want to travel, think how you will get there and make it happen, look at the sun, the flowers, the beach, the river… We can find joy even in the smallest miracles.
8. The world needs you
Have you ever watch “It’s a wonderful life”? Where a young man, overwhelmed by family obligations and a sense of responsibility towards his community, feels tied down to a company he never had an interest in working for, and a life he never wanted to live. He gave up all his dreams to help others, But in the present, on Christmas Eve, he is broken and suicidal over the misplacing of an $8,000 loan. An angel is sent from Heaven, and shows him how his town, family, and friends would have turned out if he had never been born. Believe it or not you have made a positive impact and have changed the world for the better, with one action, with one word.
9. Be real
Do not try to keep up with the world, do not try to portrait something you are not, surround yourself with true people that love you for who you are and not just a fake image. You are not what the world is telling you to be, you are unique and a special human being, break any lies and chains that were told to you.
Yes, even if is 10 sit ups, or squats, start small, go for a 5 minute walk until you build your way up. Exercise also helps our blood flow, make our heart healthier, also clear our mind, keep us in shape. If you are unable to exercise for any reason like illness of physical problems try meditation.
11. Never, ever diminish nor compare your battles with others
Each and every person has different experiences or battles, whatever you are going thru now, it is valid and is yours, nobody has it worse than you, nor you have it worse than anybody. In the comparison, or the need to fit in is what creates isolation moments. Be different, be weird, be you.
12. There is always a rainbow after each storm
It takes a storm to appreciate the beauty of a rainbow. We ourselves are the only ones responsible for our happiness, nobody else, we are responsible to get out of that mud and do something to create that rainbow after the storm.
13. Your thoughts are powerful: they can make you or break you
The mind adds its own narrative to everyday events which we accept as truth. This narrative is often negative. “People tend to dwell more on negative things than on good things. So the mind then becomes obsessed with negative things, with judgments, guilt and anxiety produced by thoughts about the future and so on,” states Eckhart Tolle in The Power of Now. We need to be kind to ourselves truly, we need to be mindful of what is behind the negative thoughts.
14. You are Stronger than you think
Everyday comes with different challenges, different blessings, different opportunities, how many times you fell down and went back up, how many times you tackle that anxiety episode, how many times you talk yourself out of something not so smart. You are strong, you are beautiful.
15. Time doesn’t heal everything but you can
It is within you, that healing begin, it is within you to get out of the victimhood mode and put your big boy/girl pants on, it is within you to start setting up boundaries and taking action, no it won’t be easy, but I can guarantee you that it will be a lot better, once you make that decision, say yes to you and yes to life, you can find out if you stick around.
© Johanna Pupiales