Lessons Learned thru Mourning

In our human life, we experience awakenings. I have had a lot of awakenings in my life. I have always been optimistic and had the strength to pull forward. But the one I am currently experiencing has shaken me most of all. My soul feels so weary and sad, like half of my entire being is missing. I am experiencing a lot of contrasts at once: Health, family, household, work, relationships, and two deaths in my family back to back…

When you find that someone so dear to you has gone to the afterlife, you reminisce about all the wonderful memories you lived with them, all the lessons learned, then the regrets of when you were not there for them or when you took them for granted. The fact that you won’t be able to see them nor hear them again shrinks the heart and the soul. It looks so surreal, that you refuse to believe it is true. We think we will have our loved ones forever, and when you are so close to your family like I was, you feel like one with that person. You find yourself face to face with death that took something precious from you. Seeing the body lifeless where it doesn’t look anything like the person was, is very sad. But it made me realize a few things:

 

1- Our Soul Is What Really Make Us, Not The Body.

Death has proven that the soul is what brings the person to life, the essence, the charisma, the beauty comes from the soul. We are too busy worrying about how we look, and we do a million things to look the best, but how about we nourish our soul, make it more beautiful because with an ugly soul the way you look on the outside won’t matter. How about we find things that make us happy, joyful, more peaceful? It will immediately reflect on the outside body and that’s what will make you beautiful.

 

2- Why Do We Wait Until Someone Goes To The After Life To Honor Them?

It is called regret for the things we did not do when they were alive. Why don’t we call more often, spend more time with them, celebrate their wins, be with them when there are hardships? We nowadays take for granted our parents, siblings, our kids, family members, friends; without knowing that we never know when will be the last time we get to hug them, to love them, to talk to them. Let’s make everyday special to express our love for them, show them how much we care, show them gratitude for the things they have done for us.

 

3- We Need To Shed Layers

When we experience this type of loss it is an equivalent to shedding one of our layers that no longer serve us, it is a calling from our higher self to wake us up and get out of our comfort zone, rethink life, get rid of the old. It is teaching us to look within, to experience life the way we were supposed to, to sit with our feelings and just be. In this world were we are always on the go, where we have to keep our minds busy so we don’t think, nor sit with our emotions; the crucial moments make us pause, to reconsider what we are doing that is making us stale, what is it that we are not paying attention to.

 

4- Learn To Let Go

Each person that comes into our lives come here for a specific reason, we have to learn from the experience and let it go, not get attached to it, because then our ego is taking over, and we aren’t letting our higher self-speak, nor are we letting our true feelings flow. We get attached to the idea of what we were when the people were around us, the way they made us feel. Not everyone is meant to be walking with us through all our journey, some will fall off, some will die as is part of our mission on this earth.

5- Are We Living or Pretending To Live?

Are we really alive or are we just putting a facade to the world? Are we living our life with a purpose or are we trying to keep up with the world? We need to really slow down to notice all these alerts that are trying to tell us something. We have to break through, we have to feel again, get out of the numbness the world created around us. Sometimes we think we are living the best of our lives when in reality we are just walking zombies, we do things automatically without even appreciating what is around us. We really need to stop once in a while and appreciate the beauty or the contrast.

 

6- There Are Several Types Of Mournings

We can experience different types of mournings, not  just someone who died, but also someone we lost because we grew apart, or because we need to draw boundaries as the relationship was toxic, we can mourn the loss of a friend, a family member that we have difference with or even hurt us, we can mourn ourselves,  the person we thought we were, maybe we were afraid to lose our old self, the person we were taught to be. We have to go thru those feelings so we can heal from the bottom of our hearts. When we leave the feelings hanging or dismiss them, we are taking the risk for them to flourish and come back stronger.  

 

7- Saying Goodbye Isn’t Easy

Detaching ourselves from a person or a situation is very hard and nerve-racking. But why is that? I believe, it is because it is hurting our human ego in a certain way, because we are losing part of our experiences, part of our essence, if it is a person we tend to hold on to for dear life for the last bit of hope we have, we become selfish, the thought of what are we going to do if we don’t see them anymore, starts rambling around in our head. We have to care for them and ourselves. We are born alone and we will die alone, therefore we have to create a better relationship with ourselves, instead latching on to people. People will come and go, we need to embrace the good moments and learn from the not so good, treasure them and move on.  

© Johanna Pupiales